After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
