how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
