Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
