just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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