it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
