Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
