my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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