I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize