when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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