You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
