And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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