Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
