and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
