You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
how can u be prego again
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
