ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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