we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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