You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I need water and some morals
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
