Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
