I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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