I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
