i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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