I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm passing your future prison.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
