He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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