Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
