what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
