i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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