I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
