how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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