you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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