Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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