Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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