I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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