I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
