I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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