Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
