i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
