Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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