also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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