her vagine was all disorganized.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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