Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
