She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
