Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
