I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
