Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
