Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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