Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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