I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
They have beer where we have blood.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
