I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
