So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
