theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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