So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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