Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
