Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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