I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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