I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
