Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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