Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
