I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
ok first of all what the fuck
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
