R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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