i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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