Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
