fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
