Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
