Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
