i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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