tequila makes me forget i have legs
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
